The message is very clear.

I like the compositon as well, and the well placed line breaks.

--
<3_Audrey

"She listens to the Cranberries in the morning to feel wiser at night
(...)"

I must agree with above, I'm an absolute fan of the line breaks.

Very unassuming in language, it makes its point nicely.

--
Hunger hurts, but starving works, when it costs too much to love.

Thanks.

I wrote it just after it came into my head, when I was actually laying on the couch.
It's as honest as possible.
But not refined, being so tired.

I'm glad I got up to write it, 'cause I wouldn't've remembered it in the morning and I certainly wasn't getting to sleep just then.

I hope to make it better.. later.

--
Neque porro quisquam est qui dolorem ipsum quia dolor sit amet, consectetur, adipisci velit...
There is no one who loves pain itself, who seeks after it and wants to have it, simply because it is pain...

Thank you.
I'ven't been sleeping well for the last week or so, that language was all I could muster.

--
Neque porro quisquam est qui dolorem ipsum quia dolor sit amet, consectetur, adipisci velit...
There is no one who loves pain itself, who seeks after it and wants to have it, simply because it is pain...

very good. I like it a lot.

--
_{new deviantart: [link]}

It captures you from the very first line and says what it needs to without any semblance of a "by the way, this poem is about..." Basically, I'm new to the lit. part of DA and this is the first good thing I've seen all evening. Regardless of weather or not me liking it means anything...I like it, have felt this, and although it's personal and specific I know that whoever reads this will most likely relate to the narrator. Empathy is nice. Besides, I love the word "nape".

For what you essentially called a random musing, this is pretty sweet. And I totally know what you mean about not writing somthing down and forgetting it the next day.

*ahem* Props!

The light rhyme, unabashed honesty, line breaks...
..it's all beautiful. I hope you sleep soon.

Another four-hour-night last night. I wish I were the type of person to get grumpy when tired.
This insomnia is frustrating. I took a measly hour nap, and that didn't make me feel any better.

Actually there's alot of rhyming/off-rhyming going on:
*The ends of the first two lines of each stanza
*The last line of every stanza with the middle of the first line of the next stanza
*As well as the middle of the last line of each stanza with eachother (throat, cope, coat, note)

At least rhyming feels easier when I'm tired - then again, so does poetry (if only sometimes).

Thanks.

--
Neque porro quisquam est qui dolorem ipsum quia dolor sit amet, consectetur, adipisci velit...
There is no one who loves pain itself, who seeks after it and wants to have it, simply because it is pain...

Thanks.

--
Neque porro quisquam est qui dolorem ipsum quia dolor sit amet, consectetur, adipisci velit...
There is no one who loves pain itself, who seeks after it and wants to have it, simply because it is pain...